First published on WRZKY Patreon, 7 March 2025
Understanding Radical Self-Care
Radical self-care is the act of prioritizing your well-being unapologetically. Unlike surface-level self-care, which often revolves around bubble baths and spa days, radical self-care demands deep introspection and boundary-setting. It involves saying no to things that drain you, cutting off toxic influences, and recognizing that rest is not a luxury, it’s a necessity.
Mainstream self-care often markets temporary relief, like buying scented candles or indulging in skincare routines. While these things are enjoyable, they don’t address the root cause of burnout, trauma, or emotional distress. Radical self-care, on the other hand, means taking control of your mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being in a way that creates long-term change.
Islam places a strong emphasis on taking care of oneself. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) encouraged balance in all aspects of life. Fasting, prayer, and acts of worship are important, but so is rest. Islam does not glorify suffering or exhaustion. True self-care aligns with faith, ensuring that one’s body, mind, and soul are nurtured.
Psychological Foundations of Radical Self-Care
Many people struggle with self-compassion, especially if they’ve been raised to believe that their worth is tied to productivity. Psychology stresses the importance of self-compassion—being kind to yourself, especially in difficult times. Radical self-care involves forgiving yourself, accepting your limits, and treating yourself with the same kindness you’d offer a loved one.
Boundaries are essential for mental health. Without them, people become overextended, exhausted, and resentful. Islam supports boundaries, as seen in the teachings of the Prophet (peace be upon him), who was intentional about his time and energy. Setting boundaries in relationships, work, and even religious commitments prevents burnout.
Many struggle with guilt when prioritizing their needs. They worry they’re neglecting others or being selfish. Radical self-care means understanding that taking care of yourself enables you to show up better for others. You cannot pour from an empty cup.
Radical Self-Care in Islamic Teachings
Islam teaches that preserving life is one of the highest priorities. The Quran explicitly states that harming oneself is prohibited. This includes emotional and mental harm. Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) also encouraged moderation in worship, emphasizing that faith should not be a burden.
Islam advocates for balance. Worship should not come at the expense of health. While acts of devotion are important, they should not lead to neglect of basic needs. The Prophet (peace be upon him) rested, socialized, and encouraged his companions to avoid extremes in worship.
Rest is not a sign of weakness. The body and mind require care to function. Islam acknowledges this through rulings that exempt the sick and travelers from fasting or prayers. Radical self-care means recognizing when rest is necessary and not feeling ashamed for taking it.
Understanding Spiritual Bypassing
Spiritual bypassing occurs when people use religion to avoid dealing with their emotions, trauma, or responsibilities. Instead of addressing pain, they dismiss it with religious phrases like “Just have faith” or “Everything happens for a reason.”
Many Muslims unknowingly engage in spiritual bypassing. Instead of validating struggles, they tell people to pray more, have sabr (patience), or remember that others have it worse. While faith is a source of strength, it should not be used to dismiss real emotional pain.
Telling someone to “trust Allah” instead of acknowledging their trauma is harmful. It invalidates their pain and prevents healing. True faith encourages seeking help and addressing struggles, not ignoring them.
The Dangers of Spiritual Bypassing in Islam and Psychology
Suppressing Emotions in the Name of Faith
Ignoring pain doesn’t make it disappear. Suppressing emotions leads to anxiety, depression, and resentment. Islam allows expressing grief, seeking comfort, and processing emotions.
Gaslighting Yourself and Others With Religious Rhetoric
Dismissing someone’s pain with religious phrases is a form of gaslighting. It makes them question their own reality. Islam encourages empathy, not dismissal.
The Long-Term Psychological Consequences
Unresolved trauma doesn’t go away; it festers. Spiritual bypassing causes long-term mental health issues and erodes trust in religion. True healing involves both faith and psychological support.
How to Practice Radical Self-Care Without Spiritual Bypassing
Honouring Both Spiritual and Psychological Needs
Faith and mental health are not enemies. Islam encourages taking care of both. Seeking therapy, resting, and setting boundaries do not contradict faith.
Seeking Professional Help Alongside Spiritual Guidance
Islam encourages seeking knowledge. Therapy is a tool for healing, just as prayer is a tool for spiritual connection. Both can coexist.
Embracing Vulnerability as a Strength
Being vulnerable is not a weakness. Islam teaches that even the strongest figures, including prophets, experienced sadness and sought support.
Conclusion
Radical self-care is not selfish, it is necessary. Islam supports taking care of oneself physically, mentally, and emotionally. However, spiritual bypassing is dangerous and prevents true healing. Balancing faith and mental well-being leads to a healthier, more fulfilling life.
Frequently Asked Questions
No, Islam encourages taking care of oneself. Neglecting yourself to please others is not a virtue.
If you avoid addressing pain by using religious phrases instead of dealing with it, you might be engaging in spiritual bypassing.
Islam encourages seeking help. Therapy is a valid tool for healing, just as dua and prayer are.
By remembering that Islam advocates balance. Worship should not come at the cost of health.
Often, it’s due to cultural conditioning and a lack of awareness. True faith validates human emotions, not suppresses them.